Friday, May 04, 2012

Mummy thoughts

I realized that I haven't written about my thoughts as a Mom for a long time.

Nobody is born a Mom. Every woman grows into her role as a Mom. I guess that's why the needs of a baby are basic at the beginning - feed, sleep and play.

These days though, I realize that I need God so much more than I allow Him to work in my life. Here are just some of the lessons I'm learning on a daily basis.

1. Baby is a human being too

After a season of good eating during which Sammy polished off whatever I gave him, he suddenly went through a "I-don't-like-the-food-so-I-ain't-opening-my-mouth" phase.

It was soooo tough! Each mealtime was a battle field. I tried to sing to him, distract him with a toy and even used each time he cried (from frustration at having to eat) to stuff food into his opened mouth! I resorted to eating my lunch together with him because he took an hour to finish his meal.

This was then I decided to taste the food myself - it was carrots, parsnip and pasta. I didn't see what the big deal was, because he has eaten carrots and parsnip before.

Eeeeekkkks! I wouldn't eat that in a thousand years!

Ok, if it was a life-and-death issue, I guess I could force it down my throat.

That's when I "took pity" on my little one and decided to cook himself that I liked myself.

I boiled some chicken thighs with an onion and carrots. Then I cooked porridge in my rice cooker using the home-made chicken stock. Using my baby cook, I blended the porridge together with shredded chicken meat and carrots.

It was soooo delicious that I ate a portion myself - with Bak Kwa (barbecued pork). Sammy devoured his 220 grams of porridge in 5 minutes! Just like that! After 3 days of fighting with me. 

Isn't it funny that one reads up on the Internet about what is "healthy" and "good" for baby, follows it, only to realize that baby doesn't want to eat it cos it doesn't taste nice?

I need to stop thinking of my baby as a project in which I want to excel in, but as a person who has his own distinct personality. I mean, if I invite guests over for a meal, I ain't gonna research online about what is "healthy" and good enough to serve guests. But I'm gonna ask myself, "What do I enjoy eating?"

2. Moms do know what is best

I meet up with some Moms whose babies are of a similar age with Sammy. I figured that's what SAHMs do right? They meet up with other Moms and their babies.

Recently though I had an incident when a Mom voiced her concern (somewhat "enthusiastically") about me putting Sammy in a sitting-down position before he's able to get into a sitting position by himself. Apparently this can be detrimental to his development and can result in spinal and hip problems in the future.

I had no idea about this but I knew that people in Asia teach their babies to sit down before they are able to do so themselves.

In Germany, its pretty common that people voice their opinions and tell you what you should / shouldn't do. I thought I was used to this. Until I became a Mom.

It's one thing to make a decision that only affects you, but its an entirely different matter to make a decision which you know affects someone else - your kid.

Every parent wants the best for their kid. But every other person also thinks they know what's the best for your kid. So what do you do?

I consulted Dr. Google of course. Turns out, most English websites say that its fine to put a baby in a sitting-down position, while German websites advocate otherwise. Hmm.

I talked to Sammy's German paediatrician who surprisingly said that what I was doing is fine as long as Sammy is stable enough to support himself and change positions if he got tired of sitting.

Talked to a fellow Singaporean Mum about this issue and she said, "Welcome to motherhood".

It's so true! Being a Mom, one is exposed to an entire new world of continual surveillance by others. I had to think of how I read lifestyle magazines and how celebrity Moms are constantly critcized for their "bad" parenting skills, like Suri Cruise and her high heels.

Being a Mom myself now, I need to learn to draw my boundaries and ask God for wisdom in this field of Motherhood. I need to remind myself that God has given each Mother a gut instinct to know what's best for her child. And who am I to judge others or give them unsolicited advice? - Especially now that I know what its like to be on the receiving end of it.

3. Being honest in my friendships

I decided to contact the lady. Turned out, we had a very good chat! :) I was glad I called because I could understand her point of view better as well as share my opinion about this matter too.

Being a Mom definitely forms my character. I'm more honest with my own feelings and I'm learning how to express them in a healthy manner. I'm also learning to be more bold in clarifying issues and seeking resolutions.

That about wraps up my epic post for now. What are some things that you are learning / have learnt as a Mom? I would be interested to hear from you too.

Here's a little Bammy man saying HELLO and wishing you a great weekend! 


Jen said...

Sammy is so cute! I miss him n you too! Are you free to chat tomorrow night? Let's chat soon! My term is finally coming to an end n I am going to start catching up on the rest of my life!

irene said...

Shalom Pris,

A delight as always to read your blog...and to end it with such an adorable smile.

I would love to write more, but here might be a little too long. I learned that when i falter, i apologise. My girls are adults and i forget that sometimes...

God bless the fruit of your womb, and truly......"Apart from Him, we can do nothing". "glad wrap" yourself to Him. God bless.......

elaine said...

oh first time hearing about it's better babies sit on their own instead of assisting them early, I've been doing so since 5months old becos bub was more keen on seeing the world than tummy time! I guess we all have first time mum dilemmas when it comes to doing what's right.
Now that i'm a mum, God's been my wisdom and guide to do or teach whats best for her :)

Sammy's sooooo cute sitting up, oh gaga!

Anonymous said...

Hi Prissy,

long time, no comment from me. So here is a long one for you:

I think I am starting this journey now as well. As soon as you become a mother it starts with finding your way with the baby and then somewhat "defending" this way. Right now I am asking for all the advise I can get,from all the different people, but everybody has a different advise - sometimes totally contrary! (like how and when to breastfeed) I have to trust that I know Baby best and that we will find our way together. Everything else just creates an environment of pressure. So...thats what I am learning right now as a new mom :-)

I am looking forward to meet up with you on Tuesday and chat a loooot about everything that happened since David's birth!

Now I can relate so much better to your life as a mum :-)

Btw: the picture of Sammy is really really adorable!! It would make a great postcard - people would buy it in stores! ;-))

Love, Geli

Pris said...

Jen dear - Sorry! I didn't manage to reply your msg in time. Can whatsapp me the next time you free to chat? Easier to check that way. Wow...another term coming to an end eh? We should catch up soon!

Pris said...

Irene - Thanks for your encouragement as always! So nice to hear from an experienced mom like yourself. I'm learning to depend on God more...never easy, but trying!

Pris said...

Elaine - Yeah I know what you mean. There's so many different theories and people saying different things all the time!

Yeah! Sammy can come up with all sorts of funny faces! Laura is really cute and gorgeous too!

Pris said...

Dear Geli!

You are the sweetest!!!! I really liked what you said about the photo being a postcard. Heehee. I really like that photo too!

Can't wait to catch up with you! Too bad I got to rush off for my appointment, but we'll make use of the time we have! Hopefully our babies will cooperate and allow us to have girls' time! :) Can't wait to meet David in real life!

Seanna said...

can totally identity with your comments about dealing with comments from other mums! I had the same experience. I also helped Lukas sit before he could on his own. He was trying to pull himself up and the Kinderarzt also said it was fine for 10 minutes or so at a time.

Sammy is so cute!! Loving the blogs and pics.

Pris said...

Dear Seanna! :)

Thanks for your lovely comment! I see from your FB photos that you go to playgroups too, so you'd know what I'm talking about. It's nice to write my blog and know that lovely people like yourself enjoys it!

sohcool said...

Hi Pris,
I love that pic. So cute.
I totally agree with all your 3 points. As kids grow older, it is harder to make them finish their plates. My problem now is cooking something that both my boys like. Most of the time, either one likes it. Tough job for me. I will be a SAHM at the end of the month. Will crack my head what to cook for lunch as well.....among other issues like finding playdates (and intrusive mothers??) in a new place as we are moving....
Continue writing ok? Always a pleasure to read.

Pris said...

sohcool - Thanks a lot for your comments! Pardon my memory but where are you moving to? I think its always a delicate balance between trying to find mummy friends with kids at a similar age to yours and being able to click with the mummies. I'm opting for the latter! My baby can learn to hang out with kids at different ages, as long as I can click with the mummies. Haha.


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