Nobody is born a Mom. Every woman grows into her role as a Mom. I guess that's why the needs of a baby are basic at the beginning - feed, sleep and play.
These days though, I realize that I need God so much more than I allow Him to work in my life. Here are just some of the lessons I'm learning on a daily basis.
After a season of good eating during which Sammy polished off whatever I gave him, he suddenly went through a "I-don't-like-the-food-so-I-ain't-opening-my-mouth" phase.
It was soooo tough! Each mealtime was a battle field. I tried to sing to him, distract him with a toy and even used each time he cried (from frustration at having to eat) to stuff food into his opened mouth! I resorted to eating my lunch together with him because he took an hour to finish his meal.
This was then I decided to taste the food myself - it was carrots, parsnip and pasta. I didn't see what the big deal was, because he has eaten carrots and parsnip before.
Eeeeekkkks! I wouldn't eat that in a thousand years!
Ok, if it was a life-and-death issue, I guess I could force it down my throat.
That's when I "took pity" on my little one and decided to cook himself that I liked myself.
I boiled some chicken thighs with an onion and carrots. Then I cooked porridge in my rice cooker using the home-made chicken stock. Using my baby cook, I blended the porridge together with shredded chicken meat and carrots.
It was soooo delicious that I ate a portion myself - with Bak Kwa (barbecued pork). Sammy devoured his 220 grams of porridge in 5 minutes! Just like that! After 3 days of fighting with me.
Isn't it funny that one reads up on the Internet about what is "healthy" and "good" for baby, follows it, only to realize that baby doesn't want to eat it cos it doesn't taste nice?
I need to stop thinking of my baby as a project in which I want to excel in, but as a person who has his own distinct personality. I mean, if I invite guests over for a meal, I ain't gonna research online about what is "healthy" and good enough to serve guests. But I'm gonna ask myself, "What do I enjoy eating?"
2. Moms do know what is best
Recently though I had an incident when a Mom voiced her concern (somewhat "enthusiastically") about me putting Sammy in a sitting-down position before he's able to get into a sitting position by himself. Apparently this can be detrimental to his development and can result in spinal and hip problems in the future.
I had no idea about this but I knew that people in Asia teach their babies to sit down before they are able to do so themselves.
In Germany, its pretty common that people voice their opinions and tell you what you should / shouldn't do. I thought I was used to this. Until I became a Mom.
It's one thing to make a decision that only affects you, but its an entirely different matter to make a decision which you know affects someone else - your kid.
Every parent wants the best for their kid. But every other person also thinks they know what's the best for your kid. So what do you do?
I consulted Dr. Google of course. Turns out, most English websites say that its fine to put a baby in a sitting-down position, while German websites advocate otherwise. Hmm.
I talked to Sammy's German paediatrician who surprisingly said that what I was doing is fine as long as Sammy is stable enough to support himself and change positions if he got tired of sitting.
Talked to a fellow Singaporean Mum about this issue and she said, "Welcome to motherhood".
It's so true! Being a Mom, one is exposed to an entire new world of continual surveillance by others. I had to think of how I read lifestyle magazines and how celebrity Moms are constantly critcized for their "bad" parenting skills, like Suri Cruise and her high heels.
Being a Mom myself now, I need to learn to draw my boundaries and ask God for wisdom in this field of Motherhood. I need to remind myself that God has given each Mother a gut instinct to know what's best for her child. And who am I to judge others or give them unsolicited advice? - Especially now that I know what its like to be on the receiving end of it.
3. Being honest in my friendships
I decided to contact the lady. Turned out, we had a very good chat! :) I was glad I called because I could understand her point of view better as well as share my opinion about this matter too.
Being a Mom definitely forms my character. I'm more honest with my own feelings and I'm learning how to express them in a healthy manner. I'm also learning to be more bold in clarifying issues and seeking resolutions.
That about wraps up my epic post for now. What are some things that you are learning / have learnt as a Mom? I would be interested to hear from you too.
Here's a little Bammy man saying HELLO and wishing you a great weekend!