Not forgetting

It was my Mom's death anniversary on 25th January.

I didn't forget. But didn't manage to write anything on that date either.

Its been 5 years since we said goodbye and I have to admit that my memories of her are becoming increasingly faint. I'm thankful to have photos but I must add that there's only a couple of them on my laptop since most of them are in hard copy and at my Dad's place back in Singapore.

While thinking about how I want to commemorate this day, I felt that I should remember what my Mom was like.

Mom was:-

- VERY pretty

I know that's what every girl think of her mom, but seriously my Mom was objectively gorgeous. When you look at her photos in her 20s, she was a stunner! Can totally imagine why Dad fell for her.

- Very disciplined and hardworking 

She worked for the government and during those times, they still had 5.5-day weeks and oh boy, I have no idea how she handled a full-time job and 4 kids!

- A woman of quiet faith 

Seeing her battle cancer for 3 years and watching how her resolve in God never died during that time, I was always so challenged in my own faith walk to keep trusting God and not doubt His goodness even right to the end.

- A Pioneer

Born as the 4th child and coming from a family with 7 daughters, she was the first one in her family to graduate from University and she also paved the way for her siblings to become Christians . Admirable.

- A dedicated saver

I remember her always cutting out supermarket discount coupons so that we could save that extra dollar or accumulate points to win something. Dad loves Kit Kat and Mom would always save those Kit Kat wrappers and enter them into Kit Kat competitions so that Dad could win more Kit Kats! And she had to fill in sooo many forms just for that!

- Very sacrificial

As a family, we used to go out and eat on weekends. Mom would never order her own share of food because she knew that there would always be too much food. So she would wait for the rest of us to order our food and she would just help us with whatever we could not finish!

- Pretty quick-tempered

Ok, nobody's perfect. But I feel "comforted" knowing where I got that trait from!!! Ok, no excuses, but yeah, never fight with your Mom! Cat fights are wayyy worse than dog fights?? (Is there such a saying?) My point is, we could never win whenever we had an argument with Mom. She always had the upper hand.

- Always concerned that I would not live in Singapore

She used to tell me that she approved of my hubby (boyfriend at that time) but she didn't like the idea of me moving over to Germany which would be so far away. I think that's her way of saying that she would really miss seeing me.

- Woman of little words but her occasional gestures would still bring a tear to my eye

Until today, I still remember the time when I visited her at the hospital. She had so much drugs that she was pretty drowsy. But she knew that I was there and when I was close to the bed, she pulled down my head such that it was leaning on her chest. And she just held me there! I mean, I thought she didn't really know what she was doing, but when I tried to pull away, she kept holding my head tight against her chest. Just like that. No words.

- Would have loved to be there at my wedding

Mom went home to be with the Lord exactly 1 month before we got married. I knew that she was holding on because she wanted so much to be there. And I've never told anybody this before. But my mentor and I prayed for my Mommy on the day she died. In my prayer, I told Mom that it was ok if she wasn't there at the wedding. And I would understand and I still love her anyway. I don't know what made me say that, but while praying for her,  I knew that those were the words I had to say. Mom went home to be with the Lord 15 mins after that.

- Great companion to Dad

They've had their fair share of struggles, like every couple but deep down inside, I knew that Mom and Dad really loved each other deeply.

- In Heaven now where I know I will meet her one day

I will always be thankful that Mom believed in Jesus and is sharing that eternal life with God right now. That's to-be-honest, the only consolation one has when one has lost someone so dear to him / her. And I thank God for giving me such a Mom. Even though memories are soo faint now, but the fact that I'm even alive today, is living proof enough that my Mom was alive and she gave me life. So yeah, the way Mom was to me and even more, I hope and pray I will be a great Mom to my future children too.

Love you Mom.