Thursday, November 05, 2009

Carpe Diem - Loving the life you´ve got

Guess what?

Last night I picked up the fashion magazine above which I had borrowed from a friend. I wanted to do some brainless bedtime reading like browsing through photos and getting new fashion ideas.

And then, God spoke to me! **through a fashion magazine, beat that!**

I´ve been going through a moulding process in the area of prayer and waiting. Some days I´m all positive and ready to face the world, other days I´m wondering if I´ll have enough energy to get through the household chores.

I stumbled upon this article from which this entry is titled. It talked about the insatiable desire of humans to want the next thing. To plan the next holiday, buy the next purchase, get the next job... you get the picture.

Scientifically, the brain releases a chemical, dopamine everytime we satisfy a craving of ours. This chemical, however, feels good short-term, but long-term leaves us wanting more. So how do we find true fulfillment if we´re always chasing the dream?

This article states, "The greatest cause of happiness is spending time with those we love" and while I agree with this, I also believe that true fulfillment and purpose in life can only be found through God, Jesus - the love of God personified. "I have come that you may have life and have it to the FULL"

This really spoke to me because while I don´t necessarily pine after material goods (obsessively), I do however, pine after answered prayers! I desire that my prayers are answered with a "Yes" and "now".
But those who have prayed before, know that this is more the exception than the norm - except for the occasional answered "pls God give me a parking space" prayer. God wouldn´t be God if I could twist Him around my fingers.

And yes, while my prayers haven´t been answered for a while, I have fell into the trap of thinking that I can´t be happy until they are answered. I can´t be happy until I´m completely healthy again (i.e. my throat pain disappears), or until God gives me the desires of my heart.

The amazing thing is that I went to my leader last week to pour out my heart and she said that I really need to get an answer from God. I was like thinking "Yeah man! He definitely owes me one, I should have gotten one from Him LONG ago!" All that ugly pride showing its face.....

And then she said, "Even if the answer is something like "Your grace is sufficient for me.." To which I actually laughed, because I always thought that was a no-brainer verse, used when you have absolutely no idea what to say, or to help a person in need. That´s the "safest" possible thing to say because there´s no need for a miraculous breakthrough".... I´m so sorry God.

We prayed together and I went home, checked my email, Facebook... go about my usual thing online. And guess what I read on my blog? On the very same day, an hour after my meeting with my leader?

The exact same verse!!!! "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect when you are weak." - thanks Irene! So yeah, I´ve got my answer and though it isn´t really what I´d wanted, I´m at peace. Most days I am and on days I´m not, I go back and meditate on that verse.... My spiritual mentor gave me homework to find out what "Grace" means.... Oh boy. I´ve got so much to learn...

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