Left: That´s me skewing the prawns again.
Yet another year with the youth cell has passed! This is the second Christmas that we´re celebrating with them. We did potluck just like last year and somehow this year seemed to be less stressful and more relaxed. Perhaps everybody is more accustomed to having a party at our place and I´m no longer stressed about preparing food. Last year I prepared way more food than this year and somehow the food still worked out. Everybody took some effort to get something done - that´s one thing I like in Germany. Youths know how to cook even when they are young. Hah. I guess Singaporeans are trained to eat and subsequently learn how to cook when they are driven to desperation, just like me.
Next year´s going to hold quite a bit of changes for our cell. There´s a couple who would go overseas, mainly on mission trips. Some might end up moving away from Stuttgart as they pursue their education in other cities. I´m excited to see what God has in store for the cell. Thing 2009 would be a year of changes I think. Note to myself: Spend time with God to reflect on 2008 and gain new perspective for 2009.
2008 has been a year of stabilizing changes. Other than Stephan´s superbly-difficult tax exam preparations, we haven´t had BIG changes. My new job as a teacher has also helped me to adjust more to Germany, now that I have smth to do with my time. It has been simply a time when we could enjoy married life together.
We had our company Christmas dinner yesterday and I talked to a colleague of mine who waited 6 yrs after marriage before she had her first kid. (She married young too). She added that it was such a precious 6 yrs when she and hubby could really build up the foundation of the marriage and establish familylife together before kids came.
It helped me so much, cos both of us have the following similarities:
- getting married after a long-distance relationship
- getting used to a different country, language, culture etc.....
- new job, new everything.....
A family is COMPLETE even without kids. The world makes people think that they are only complete with kids, but that´s such a lie! I read this in one of those Christian marriage books, so this is even biblical. Waiting to have children is wise too. I´d rather kids not be born, than to be born in a family where the parents are not even ready to be parents. The kid just grows up feeling unwanted and ends up going through all sorts of emotional, psychological and self-image problems etc. Sorry to say this, but there are enough people I know whom I think shouldn´t even have kids, simply cos the parents are still stuck in somekind of emotional rut and are simply incapable of being parents. NO doubt there´s no such thing as a "perfect" parent and I don´t endeavour to be one either, but still there´s a time and season for everything. (Ecc. written by Solomon in the Bible). I do believe in the right thing at the wrong time.
It comforted me so much to know that for my friend (who has mixed Asian and Western heritage and herself is married to an Asian), told me that people whom she didn´t even know all asked her if she had problems conceiving - automatically assuming that since she didn´t have children after 6 yrs of marriage, meant that she´s infertile. She just said she ignored them and didn´t think twice about it. I shall endeavour to do just that and I don´t have to justify why I decide to wait and not follow the trend about having children immediately after one gets married. NO where in the Bible stated that one has to have children IMMEDIATELY after one gets married. That´s complete crap! So no thanks for any well-meant "word of advice" about when to have children. I´ll ask if ever I need advice. Unsolicited advice is so not welcomed. Family planning only consists of the husband and wife. Thank you very much.
PS.# In case you´re wondering, this post is NOT directed at the Germans. As a matter of fact, I´ve had NO pressure from the people here, not even my parents-in-law who simply give me all the time and space to settle into marriage life. They have never once asked us when we want to have to children or put the slightest pressure on us. I´m so grateful for in-laws like them.