Recently, I´ve been feeling pretty aimless and lost. I guess the beginning of a new year always marks a time of really wanting this new year 2007 to mean something, to be able to accomplish something and to really make this year count. Hence, I´ve gotten rather impatient about God showing me what on earth did He call me to Germany for? It was a really clear call, for both Stephan and myself. However, now that I´m here, I´ve really got absolutely no clue whatsoever why I´m in Germany. I´m not here simply because my husband is German - we could be staying in Singapore or Canada or anywhere else that speaks english. But God specifically told both of us to move to Germany - against my wishes at first, but God basically used the most part of 2006 to change my heart about moving to Germany.
So, here I am, with my first step of obedience taken in faith and still not knowing what else to do next! My integration course ends in Feb 2007 and from then, I would be at a decision-making phase again - should I learn more german, look for a job, study more???? And the day before yesterday, I got such a funny dream - it was so vivid and I was so sure that God was speaking to me in the dream.
I dreamt that I was in a shopping mall, looking for winter clothes with my sister. Both of us were so certain that we were in the right place, so we split ways to look for winter clothes ourselves. After some time, we met back at the original spot where we split ways, only to realize that we could not find any winter clothes! Both of us got so frustrated and just when we were thinking about what to do, we saw an escalator being built (supernaturally - without any workers, just something that appeared from thin air). The escalator would lead us to another level where we would be able to buy winterclothes - which would have been impossible if we didn´t have the escalator. At that moment, I had such a strong sense in my heart, "God will show me the exact steps to take at His exact timing. And it will be so obvious that I would not be able to miss it - like something supernatural just appearing before my eyes".
And the amazing thing about the dream is that I normally forget all my dreams the second I wake up. And when I was doing my quiet time and reflecting on the stuff I read, the dream suddenly reappeared in my mind - like a visual reminder. I´m still not 100% certain that the dream is definitely from God, but I shall take it in faith that God is simply encouraging me.
And as if as its a double-confirmation, my quiet time today was so clear. When God permits us to pass through deep and dark waters, its not because He is powerless to deliver us, but because a beneficial and eternal purpose is being worked out in the process. He is interested not merely in working out His purposes in us but in imparting to us a richer sense of His presence. Amen to that!