Friday, June 16, 2006

Reflections on Church camp in Melaka

Well well, where shall I begin? We had two speakers, Bishop Ivan Lee from Sydney, Aussieland and Rev. Clement Wong from Malaysia.... Both talked about the theme 'FOLLOW ME!' sounds like shampoo, the former spoke in the morning and the latter in the evening.

Well, what I got back from the camp was not really just what was preached, but during the ministry time. I went to the front for ministry for both nights when they were praying for people. The first night was really an 'eye-opener' for most of us, cos there were ppl being slained by the Holy Spirit and some were weeping uncontrollably. I never see stuff like this in SJSM only in YWAM.

I for one, was sitting at the back and didn't know whether to go to the front to ask for prayer a not. Finally, after hesitating forever, Stephan and I went to the front to ask to be prayed by Rev. Clement Wong. I told the pastor that I was moving to Europe and am praying for direction. He prayed for me and said something in the light of being on training ground. That even if things do not meet up to my expectations, even in terms of the church, God wants to train me, and I need to keep following Him and stand apart as an example for others. This really resonated with wat P. Ian spoke to me (during GOFEST) abt God wanting to train my heart to be a missionary... I really felt so amazed n sorta a bit scared at the same time. I mean who likes training???!?

I was slained by the Holy Spirit and when I was lying down I felt this warmth on my face and tears welling up in my eyes. I felt God's love and reassurance pouring into my heart about Germany...that I would need to acknowledge my fear about the unknown and give that fear to God so that He can take control.... Realized there is a difference between sweeping the fear under the carpet and facing up to the fact that 'Yes, I feel fearful, but God YOU are with me and YOU are more than enough for me'

The second night Stephan and I went for prayer in the front again, this time as a couple together to pray for direction.... We went to Pastor Lewis cos we saw that he was available and Stephan sorta joked 'let's go to Pastor Lewis cos he looks unemployed'... Anyways, I realized I needed to overcome this thing in my head about wanting to go to the 'more-anointed' ones like Pastor Rennis or Pastor Clement so that there would be more manifestations of the Holy Spirit... like duh! As if the Holy Spirit would choose selectively of who to use.

As if to humble me, the Holy Spirit touched me in such a fresh and different way. For one thing, I was slained so fast! All I heard was Pastor Lewis say 'God, I pray for a fresh anointing on Priscilla' and then I was on the floor already! It was like there was this SWOOSH and I really fell to the floor. The one on the previous night was very a slow fall, but just when I commented to Stephan, I think God is very gentle with me cos He lets me fall gently, suddenly God gives me one with like sorta sweeps me off my feet. To me, it really felt like God was showing me different sides of Him.

Anyway this night, I had a different message from God. When I was standing in front for prayer, I just sensed the strong presence of God.... it was so overwhelming, I could already feel tat I was starting to tremble. When I was lying on the floor,
I felt God pouring out His love into my heart.

God brought back times when I felt neglected and second-class esp in my family of origin. At first I felt 'Not again! ' Cos I thought I learnt this lesson before, about how to receive love from God... Then I realized that I guess the reason why God is teaching me this again is becos there's so much to learn about receiving love, like an onion one layer at a time... Perhaps this issue is way more deep-rooted than I realize.

God just told me He never treats me second-class and He always give me His best...
I had to think of my wedding and God brought to mind that deep in my heart, I felt that it was not perfect too, even though in my head I know that it was perfect. Realized that I always felt that it was the happiest and saddest day of my life cos my Mom was not there. God just told me that it was the best wedding He could give me. For whatever reason Mom couldn't be there, I need to trust that God knows better than me.

Ok, that's all in a nutshell what happened to me personally during the camp. I was really blessed by the message of both pastors.

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