Liam Owen Tews - Birth story

The 3 Musketeers!

This is my first post as a family of 5. Five! Oh gosh, I'm beginning to sound like a Mother hen.

We got discharged yesterday after a 3-day stay at the hospital - our shortest so far. With Sam, we stayed for 5 days because of the unplanned C-section and with Gabriel, we stayed for about the same period of time because of his jaundice.

What can I say? Liam's birth was the fastest and best birth I've had, out of 3 children.

Best birth does not equate to painless birth though. I'm still sitting on a ring pillow now and having the typical after-birth pains that most mothers would know about.

But Liam's birth was so good in comparison to my other 2 births that I can only overflow with thanksgiving.

So, with  no further ado, here's my birth story.....

(Open popcorn...)

30.3.2016 (Wednesday) - At exactly 39 weeks pregnant

4.30 am.- I felt intermittent cramps that jolted me awake. They were very mild compared to the usual labour cramps so I just monitored to see if the cramps would get more intense / regular. I felt so exhausted that just the thought of going into labour at this unearthly hour made me wanna faint.

I asked the hub to get me a warm water bottle which I put on my belly. I was so thankful when the contractions faded away as I slowly drifted into sleep again. My sleep was fitful but still gave me the rest I needed for the big day ahead.

9.15am - Got out of bed with Gabriel. Went to the toilet when I just couldn't shake off the feeling that something was not quite right. I felt a lot of pressure down there and even walking felt weird and uncomfortable.

9.20am - Contractions restarted and very quickly increased in frequency from once in 10 minutes to once in every 5 minutes. This time I knew it was the real thing because the contractions radiated from the back to the front and they were very regular. It was exactly the same type of contractions I had with Gabriel.

Called my midwife to inform her about my contractions, to which she said that I should go to the hospital if my contractions came every 5 minutes. But I was not supposed to drive.

Was quite appalled that hub went to work that morning even though I distinctly told him last night to have a home office day, judging by the fact that I had some irregular contractions.

He on the other hand,  either didn't hear what I said in his sleep or happened to dismiss those contractions as Braxton hicks, which I've been experiencing very often in this pregnancy.

Had breakfast with Gabriel while trying to figure out what to do. He was so cooperative and even brought his clothes / shoes / jacket to wear while we were getting ready to leave the house. 

Called my father-in-law to come over but FIL couldn't make it because he had an X-ray appointment at a specialist due to a dislocated shoulder.

Ahh.... told myself to focus in between the contractions. Who could I call next?

9.50am - Decided to call Yvonne (Sam's Godmother) who would come with one kid and take care of Gabriel. But she would need 30 mins.

Tried calling hub 5 times but couldn't get through to him.

9.55am - Hub calls me back and said he would drive home immediately. He would still take 40mins.

Decided I needed a backup plan just in case I felt that I needed to go to the hospital earlier, so I called my cellgroup leader, Marcy would said she would drive over. She would take about 15 mins.

10.45am - Hub finally makes it home and we drive to the hospital. Called Marcy to tell her I wouldn't need her service anymore.

11am - Yvonne meets me at the hospital and we pass Gabriel to her.

The wireless CTG that I was strapped up to. That's baby's heartbeat on top and the bottom one indicates my contractions

What a labour ward looks like. Spot the CD player? I used it to play some calming music.

Before the contractions got too painful

11.15am - We enter the labour ward, when my midwife examines me and says I'm around 5-6cm already. I was so elated because that was also the starting point for my labour with Gabriel. I tell myself that I can do this! I'm more than halfway done.

My water bag had not burst yet but I thought I should labour naturally to give the water bag a chance to burst normally.

12.15pm - I progress from 5/6cm to 7cm.

Was quite disappointed that it was only 1cm progression in 1 hour (which is actually a normal dilation rate). By this time, the contractions were coming every 2-3 minutes and were getting increasingly more intense.

Midwife and I agree to wait until 1pm to see how far I get.

12.45pm - I decide that enough is enough and I didn't want to wait for water bag to burst naturally anymore. Midwife manually bursts my waterbag and I felt temporary relief in the pressure down there.

Contractions come fast and furious and I keep asking for epidural. Midwife keeps telling me that my contractions / dilation have been so effective that I don't need epidural.

1pm - Contractions were so painful that I really regret not getting epidural. I was about 9cm by now.

Kept telling my midwife I need epidural, but she said that as soon as I feel a pushing sensation, an epidural is not going to help with the pushing phase anymore. 

I did feel the pushing sensation but kept reasoning with her that with Gabriel, I did have an epidural a 9cm. She kept encouraging me that I can do it without epidural and baby will come after a couple of pushes.

I asked her if she could use a vacuum (cos we had that for Gabriel), but she said that it was too early to use a vacuum. Asked her if there's anything else I can use, that's is betweeen drugless and epidural and she said there's nothing else.

PANIC! Argh.

I start pushing and everything else was a blur really. I just remember thinking "Ok, the head is out, can she not pull out baby?"

But she was like, "No, Frau Tews, YOU need to push out the baby".

Me, "NO way!"

(Save you further details of the last stage of labour).

1.25pm - Liam Owen Tews was born with his whole head of black hair.

Photo on the right was taken just an hour after his birth

Liam Owen Tews

3.46kg, 51cm

I was totally completely shocked and in disbelief that I managed to have a drugfree, painkiller-free, epidural-free birth!

Totally natural birth that was done in a matter of 4.5 hours of active labour (9am to 1.30pm)!

Liam was born 25 mins after my midwife burst my waterbag!

I had a little bruise down there but it didn't need any stitches. The pushing phase was also short and effective, so I didn't have the same problems I had with Gabriel's birth either.

I actually felt "OK" after Liam's birth! With Sam's birth, I felt like I was hit by a truck - twice, with Gabriel's birth, I fainted after giving birth and with Liam's birth, I was whatsapping with my group of girlfriends from Singapore throughout the birth process and could continue whatsapping with them after Liam was born!

I got wheeled into a double-room with an excellent, panoramic view of Stuttgart. I didn't have any roommate the entire 3 days I was there, so we had the peace and quiet to just be by ourselves - Liam and I.

I must say that this is the first birth that I felt so empowered as a woman. I have nothing against taking epidural and as a matter of fact, I was so certain I would have taken epidural if my midwife had not been so encouraging towards me about going for a natural birth.

I do feel that epidural is like a crutch psychologically. I was labouring so well when I kept thinking that I could use epidural if I couldn't take it anymore. But the second the option to have epidural was taken away from me, I could feel myself panicking on the inside - even though nothing had changed much about the contractions!

The bottom line is that I felt that with each subsequent pregnancy, I've been blessed with better labours and recovery period. I was honestly quite traumatized after Sam's birth that, the thought of going through labour with Gabriel again scared me the most. But once I had a VBAC with Gabriel, it was a healing process for me that not all births have to be that traumatic. And with Liam's birth, not only did I have my second VBAC, it was all-natural, short and very smooth!

And if you remember what I blogged about before, I was very worried about being induced if I went past my due date. So for the fact that Liam was born at 39 weeks, I was totally saved from having to go through the dilemma of should I wait or should I be induced.

Yeah, so that's my testimony of how God knew what was going on inside of me. He knew exactly what my worries  / desires were and oh how He helped me through every single worry!

- No induction, cos baby was born at 39 weeks.

- No epidural, all-natural birth with 4.5hours of active labour

- No tears / episiotomy, just a bruise that didn't require stitches

- Short hospital stay of 3 days. Liam has some jaundice but PD said that its minor enough for him to be breastfed regularly and it should resolve itself with time.

- Having a "single" room with a panoramic view of Stuttgart for 3 full days. Didn't have to share room with anybody and could enjoy my baby in the privacy of my own room

That's the view from my room. Gorgeous, isn't it? And doesn't the hub look so relaxed? Like the "This is the 3rd time I'm doing it, so I know what I'm doing" look!

Sam looks so "Ahh...I've done this big brother thing before" while Gabe looks so "Hmmm... hope I'm holding baby alright!"

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For those who are interested, here's the birth story of Sammy,

And here's the birth story of Gabriel.

Pregnancy #3 - (almost) 38 weeks!

Baby is officially past full-term! So he won't be considered premature if he came any day from now onwards.

I got a feeling this baby is going to stay put for a while though! I'm really hoping he will make his appearance betweeen 39-40 weeks but hopefully not beyond 40 weeks because that means I'm going to be induced!

16 more days and guess what? We only washed our first batch of newborn clothes today!

I think that's the difference between having a third child and first child. The great thing about having our 3rd boy is that we seriously haven't bought anything new for this kid. There's simply no need to, cos we're bursting with clothes left over from his 2 older brothers.

Right now I feel like a huge, big, almost-bursting ball! I have braxton hicks contractions almost everyday and sometimes all day! It's been so uncomfortable.

Thank God we have a long weekend for Good Friday and Easter Sunday coming up. We aren't going to travel anywhere, cos I'm simply too exhausted and out of breath to do anything other than the very basic necessities.

I wake up 3-4 times a night to empty my bladder and it ain't a joke to get a whale out of bed!

I was so exhausted today that I didn't want to get out of bed but my little one kept going, "Mummy, wake up! Mummy, wake up!" I simply couldn't persuade him to stay in bed anymore.

My Chinese neighbour, whom I'm quite close to, went back to China for 6 months today. I've been feeling a bit down cos it's just nice to have a fellow Mummy around the corner, whom you can simply text to ask if she's keen to come over for a playdate, or we just meet downstairs at the playground and the kids hang out.

So with no plans today, the kids and I actually had lunch, had some tea (I baked some N.Y. cheeesecake) and Sam brought out book after book for me to read to them!

I was SO amazed at their attention span! They actually sat through 5 books! - 3 English and 2 Chinese books! Like wow! My eyelids were threatening to close by the end of our reading marathon, such that I had to put them in the bathtub and ask the hub to come home a bit earlier to help me out.

He ended up coming home at 6pm instead of his usual 7pm. And oh boy, what a difference that made! We had dinner by 7pm (some leftovers from yesterday) and the kids were in bed by 8pm instead of the usual 8.30-9pm. And I'm actually writing this at 9.30pm!

I so wish hub could come home earlier..... a girl can dream!

Sam is so over-the-moon excited about the upcoming arrival of his 2nd brother, while Gabriel seems to be having a love-hate relationship with my baby belly. Today, when I came home after a midwife appointment, he actually smacked my belly with so much force I was so shocked! I ended up smacking the hand that did the deed and giving him a long time out!

He apologized quite immediately after realizing what he did, but I simply couldn't allow an act of "violence" go unpunished. Especially not one that was directed at baby!

Having said that, sometimes Gabriel can be so sweet and would just kiss my belly on his own accord. I guess time will tell to see how he adjusts to being a middle child and being an older brother. Praying that he will ease into his new role easily!

Oh, haven't announced it here yet here, but Gabriel got a spot in Sammy's kindergarten and he will start after he turns 3 in September! We are very overjoyed and thankful that God held his space open cos spots for 3-year olds in kindergartens are so limited these days!

We hardly have any scan photos of this baby except for one that's too private to show - uh hum.

It's weird being in this waiting game for labour to start again! I know baby will show his face when the time is right. I'm just feeling like I'm sitting on coals cos of the impending induction date. Do pray with us that baby will come naturally before his due date!

Haven't posted many photos of the kids later, so here's some random pictures / videos! Enjoy!

Perfect playmates for each other

Caught in the air!

Gabe was so exhausted, he fell asleep right on the sofa!

 Gabe wanted to do exactly what his older brother did, but realized later that it wasn't his cup of tea!

Pregnancy #3 - Love my family

(Warning: Long post ahead) 

I've been bed-ridden for the past few days. Today was the first day I finally managed to drive again. Shall spare you all the details, but let's suffice it by saying that it was pregnancy-related and oh boy, was it a pain in the ass! I've had the "misfortune" of having this pregnancy ailment for all my 3 pregnancies! *bleah*! But at least the results of the pregnancies are worth it!

Well, having so much time on the couch / bed, I've had lots of time to think about my life and count my blessings!

I'm so thankful that it was as if God knew that I would be bed-ridden! Sam was invited to a birthday party on Sunday and I had arranged with Gabriel's Godparents to take him on that particular Sunday so that hub and I could spare up a few precious hours to do some spring-cleaning of our study room and basement.

It was a pretty successful day! Albeit from my hubby's part.

We had very good division of labour. I laid down on the couch / napped / relaxed, while hubby rearranged his massive collection of DVDs and did some proper deep cleaning.

The kids were out of our hair and there was SO much peace in the house. It was just so good to be able to relax without being on standby mode at the call and command of 2 young human beings.

I was also thinking about how Gabriel would no longer be the baby of the family. He's been the baby of the family for 2.5 years and I wonder how he would take being dethroned / promoted to big brother, depending on how you see it.

You see, Sam was barely 2 (22 months) when Gabriel was born, whereas Gabriel would be a full year older than Sam (32 months) when #3 will be born.

I'm already concerned that he's going to be jealous - which I know is a very normal reaction for any child. Already when I carry a baby in  my arms, the poor boy would sandwich himself between the baby and me sorta signalling to me "Hey Mom, don't forget I'm YOUR baby, not this other baby!"

And Gabriel feels more attached to me than Sam was at the same age. He takes a while to get accustomed to new faces and with strangers, he can remain pretty aloof and shy. He has no qualms about sticking to me while other kids play with each other if he's not familiar with any of them.

You know how they say your heart will expand to accomodate the next baby? I'm sure my heart will. But my heart also sobs at the fact that my baby will become a middle child instead of remaining the baby.

I know its the pregnancy hormones at play right now. I was also a middle child (2nd out of 4 kids)  and I think I turned out ok. So I'm hopeful that Gabriel will turn out fine as a middle child too.

Oh and have I mentioned how thankful I am for my hubby took care of the kids and held the fort on the Saturday when I was out of order. He did all the laundry, prepared a meal (in the oven), fed them, kept them busy (in front of the TV). Lol. A guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do right?

My in-laws helped me out on Monday too by taking the kids. So in total I had at least 4 consecutive days when I could just focus on recuperating and getting better.

So SO SO SO thankful!

It's really the little things that makes one thankful!

34 weeks down and 6 more to go.

I'm really hoping and praying that baby shows his face earlier than 40 weeks cos my gynae wants to induce me by my due date! He says that due to GD, its not recommended to let baby bake for longer than 40 weeks because there might be placenta complications.

I've never been induced before. And I had a C-section with Samuel. And in countries like Singapore and Canada, gynaes won't induce a woman who's had a previous C-section scar. But in Germany, gynaes appear to be more relaxed about this issue and no amount of persuasion seems to change my gynae's mind.

I'm just going to have to try all sorts of natural means to encourage baby to come out earlier then!

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We finally did our photo collage on our wall and here are some photos to share!

Just for fun. Can you guess who's who? 

Should be quite obvious?

Those were the days when the boys were small enough to fit into a sink!

The greatest Dad and husband for me

Guess where we were?

Pregnancy #3 - 32 weeks

I've got 8 more weeks to go and I feel sooo unorganised!

I hear from fellow Moms and what they have got for their babies and I feel like I should somehow up my game in terms of getting our place ready for another bub.

BUT.....

I'm just SO mega exhausted!

It's so no joke having 2 toddlers and still having to cook 2 meals a day.

Everyday.

Even on weekends.

I joke with my husband that I'm doing even more work than a Filipino maid in Singapore who at least gets a day off on Sunday, during which she's not expected to attend to any household chores.

I'm very thankful that my boys are in general very low maintenance. Ie. They do not require me to "entertain" them but they are completely able to play on their own / with each other. My mornings alone with Gabriel are really peaceful and I'm able to prepare breakfast / lunch, do some housework with minimal disruptions. Gabe can be so quiet, sometimes I forget that he's there!

My afternoons get a bit more rowdy because as much as the boys love each other, squabbles are part and parcel of their interactions with each other and I find myself either having to drown out the "Mummy, Gabe took my xxx" by turning up my music or dragging my big fat a_s to the boys' room to play referee.

Speaking about being big and fat, that's exactly how I feel right now!

I can hardly get out of the bed without exerting myself and I become more out of breath easily. I've tried using our home crosstrainer twice and I must say that 15 mins is my current state of fitness. And don't remind me how much bigger I'm going to get in the coming weeks!

Dealing with GD is still a pain, because even though I don't have to check my blood sugar levels everyday, I find myself worrying on days that I  don't check it! So actually I do end up checking it on most days and I stress myself up when my results increase by a couple of points - even though there is a margin of error of 10-15%, which means that results that differ up to 10-15 points is somewhat regarded as being "constant".... I guess.

Hub has been such a great source of support in that he always puts the needs of the family before his.

I had a midwife appointment today and it was located at one of those places that has horrible parking so I took the subway instead. But I still had to walk 15 mins up and down slopes while pushing a stroller. And sadly enough, my midwife had to cancel my appointment cos she was called up at the hospital, so I had made the trip in vain. I ended up having to walk another 20 minutes to the nearest train station to make my way home.

Called the hub and told him how exhausted I was and he completely surprised me by coming home earlier at 4.30pm! As it turned out, when he got home, all 3 of us were napping away because Gabriel is down with a bad cold and cough, while Sam was also feeling very tired because we've had late nights over the weekend while hanging out at friends' places.

Hub managed to continue working from home. I guess it wouldn't have made a difference even if he had come home at his usual 7pm, but it really is the thought that counts - that the hub came home earlier just to show that he cared. And as most of us women would know, sometimes just having the psychological support of knowing that someone is there helps us to get through the day, isn't it?

Just for fun, I thought I'd come up with a to-get / buy list for baby #1, #2 and #3.

Baby #1

Everything basically! From stroller to car seat to high chair to baby bed to baby clothes to bottles to pacifier. It's like building a new house.

Baby #2

Everything in double. Double strollers. We have both front-and-back strollers as well as side-by-side strollers.

Baby #3

CAR.

Most cars do not fit 3 carseats side-by-side, so we're in the midst of trying to get a new car while trying to sell our old BMW. It's been such a headache really and it would be a miracle if we can somehow manage to get our new car before baby comes in April.

We've been searching around and I think we've more or less decided on the Volkswagen Sharan. We had initially wanted the Ford Galaxy but we decided that VW is a more reliable brand and engine than the Ford. Plus, the hub is German, so what can I say? 

And that's about all that we have got for baby #3. Ie. Nothing else. Hah.

We might have to get some different onesies eventually since both Sam and Gabe were hitting cold weather by the time they were 3 -6 months old, whereas baby #3 would be hitting summer for the same age since his birth month will be 3 months earlier than Gabriel's.

Our dream car - Volkswagen Sharan in red

Pregnancy #3 - 30 weeks (Third trimester!)

And just like that, my third and possibly final pregnancy has entered into the last trimester! I'm officially in the 30th week now and am closer to becoming a whale.

Usually this is the trimester when I start becoming nostalgic and not wanting the pregnancy to end. But this pregnancy has been quite different special, compared to my first two.

The past couple of weeks has seen the Tews family going through a huge change of diet, no thanks to this thing called "gestational diabetes".

This is the first time I got diagnosed with it even though its my third pregnancy. It's been a huge bummer because gone are the days when I can simply fry some beehoon (thin rice vermicelli) or have some fried rice. Actually gone are the days when I can eat something without thinking twice about it.

These days, I have to prick my poor fingers 6 times (!!!) a day, once before and once after every.single.meal. 

It also means that I can't just eat whenever and whatever I want. I have to space out my meals and have my light 1st and 2nd breakfast, light lunch, tea break, light dinner and light snack before bed.

On weekends, I can't just go to any place to eat out anymore because the usual case is that one is served way more carbs than proteins. Recently, I had a make-up course (it was my birthday present) and I forgot to bring my lunch with me! The course went from 12 - 6pm and I only had a small pretzel with butter as a snack (refreshments provided by the make-up artist).

Needless to say, I was so famished and delirious from hunger by dinner time. But having a small pretzel for lunch doesn't mean that I could compensate by having a bigger dinner! I still had to keep to my sugar limit. We met some friends and ate out, so I ordered some Indian chicken and vegetable curry with less rice and treated myself to 5 pieces of sushi. Only 5!

But my sugar level went through the roof! Sob! So no more sushi / Japanese sticky rice for me either!

Usually on weekends, hub and I take turns to sleep in. Or to be fair, the hub usually lets the pregnant whale sleep in more. BUT, these days, I'm unable to sleep in because I'm too hungry! And if I skip breakfast, I'll more likely still be hungry after lunch since I can't up my carb intake for lunch. It has crossed my mind to just pop a banana and just go to back to bed, but at this point, I can't just do that because I will feel bad that I didn't check my blood sugar. :S 

On the bright side, this is usually not a permanent condition. The majority of pregnant women no longer have diabetes once their babies are born and by God's grace, I shall be part of that 95% majority.

Another silver lining is that the hub has lost 5 kg already because of my efforts to decrease carbs in my homecooked meals. I have also lost 1-2kg, which is really not too bad a thing, especially cos I probably gained some weight just from the incessant eating in London.

This is the only silver lining really. If I look at this as a weight loss / weight control program, it would help me to feel better about being in this predicament. I feel like I'm in the kitchen ALL the time! I cook for lunch and dinner and even on weekends.

The thing that makes it hard is that I still have to cook for my children too. And they need their carbs. And Asian food, with its huge amount of rice doesn't cut it right now. I have to cook at least 2 main courses for Asian meals and that equates to more time too.

So far, my sugar levels have been pretty good. The one-hour limit after meals is 140 and my sugar levels have been hovering at about 110-120, with the occasional spikes. So that gives me more leeway in case my sugar levels do increase with increasing insulin needs as the pregnancy progresses. Again, I'm trusting God that this GD will not deterioriate and this is as bad as it would get.

Sam has been so ultra sweet during this period. Here's our usual conversation.

Sam: Why are you pricking your finger?

Me: Because I want to control my blood sugar levels and make sure that baby is growing well.

Sam: Is it ouch-ah? (painful)

Me: Yes, sometimes.

Sam: Awww, Mummy.

(After I have pricked my finger)
Sam: So how? What's the number?

(I will read the number together with him and practise his recognition of numbers).

I'm happy to say that after the first 10 days of monitoring my blood sugar levels, my specialist said that my levels have been pretty good so she allowed me to monitor it every second day. And instead of 6 finger pricks per day, I only have to prick my finger 4 times per day now.

Phew! That gives me so much relief!

These days, I sorta know what to to cook such that my sugar levels stay within the limit. It's still hard when we go out on weekends, because experimenting with "outside" food usually spikes my sugar levels.

We were looking at some cars today and had to pop by Subway cos there was no other choice. I obediently chose to have wholemeal bread to go with my teriyaki chicken sub (instead of my usual cheese oregano) and despite not wanting to finish the whole thing, I was too hungry to hold back. My sugar level was exactly at 140!

And since we were out and about the entire day, I only managed to cook dinner by 8pm and by then was so famished, so I ate quite a fair bit of rice. My sugar level hit 138, just below the 140 limit. Argh.

And the "best" part of being a control-freak me, I usually prick my finger more than once to get a more accurate result. But it bugs me that my results can sometimes fluctuate up to 10 points!

Well, let's just hope that I got less than 10 weeks of this GD! And after that, may it be adios to GD for the rest of my life!

A bump pix at almost 30 weeks

Pregnancy #3 - 24 weeks

Bump at 20+3 weeks. Only bump pix I have so far!

I've officially hit the viablility date! We had my detailed 2nd-trimester scan a few weeks ago. 

Baby looks great and everything is measuring right on track. This is such a relief, because we had a crazy first trimester at the gynae -- shall not go into details here.

I've since changed my gynae and am very satisfied with my current doctor. He's calm, professional and very reassuring. Nothing like my crazy, over-the-top stressful previous gynae.

Since our lovely baby was so cooperative at the scan, we managed to take a good look at body parts and found out that.....

We are having our 3rd BOY!

We are really excited to be welcoming another blue addition to our family. Having had two boys already, we pretty much know what to expect and have almost everything we need for the next baby.

I'm sure some of you have questions so I'll answer them, Q&A style 

Wow, really? Were you trying for a girl? 

No, we weren't. Whatever trying for a girl means. We wanted to have at least 3 kids, so we tried for a 3rd kid. No specific gender and no gender swaying.

Are you disappointed?

No, actually I'm not. I think disappointed would be a wrong word to describe how I felt when I first found out the gender.

I was hoping for a baby girl, since there is no specific gender tendencies on either mine nor hubby's side of the family. Moreover, I had such horrible MS in the first trimester of this pregnancy (compared to no MS for my first two pregnancies), such that I really thought we could be expecting a girl. So I was surprised when nature's supposed 50/50 coin toss had yet again dealt us the same hand.

My main issue wasn't the fact that baby isn't a girl, but the fact that I have never pictured myself being in an all-boys household.

That said, the more I think about it, the more I'm loving the idea of having 3 boys and being the Queen of my family. My boys are lovely and I feel it a God-given privilege to have the responsibility of bringing up Godly, brave and strong men for the Lord in the next generation.

And when I spent some time with God about this issue, I felt in my heart that for the fact that we can't choose the genders of our children, that decision lies with God and God alone. And if He chose for our 3rd child to be a boy, that means He has a mandate and specific plans for this child to be a boy.

God's plans are better than my plans and I know this is an area of submission and trust to His sovereign will for my life and my children's.

What is the hardest thing for you to reconcile about not having a baby girl? 

Honestly? It's really the shopping for baby girl clothes and dressing up. Call me superficial but after 2 boys, I can't see the color blue anymore! I've come to realize how bias the fashion industry is against male fashion! Boys' clothes pale in comparison to girls' clothes in variety, color, style, everything! These days, I find myself googling for "beautiful boys clothes". If you have any recommendations, please let me know!

How are you feeling pregnancy-wise?  

 

My second trimester has been a breeze so far, compared to the madness of first trimester. I'm massively thankful for this breather, especially now that winter has hit and the usual winter colds / coughs have made its unwelcome appearance in the Tews household.

 

Will you be trying for a #4?

I really don't know! Ask me again in the future! Of course there's still the desire to have a mini-me, but for now, little Gabriel will do! IF we do try for a #4, it could very well be another boy, so I would have to psycho myself for that real possibility and see if I'm up to it! That said, we're totally jumping the gun here. We'll have our 3rd baby first before seeing if we even want to fire up this baby oven one last time.

How are the boys taking the news?

Sammy is so happy and kept kissing my belly. Gabriel doesn't quite understand the concept of baby boy or girl, but he was equally happy and kept saying "Hello baby!", while stroking my belly. Hub is totally happy about another boy and he's the most neutral person when it comes to gender of a baby.

Have you decided on a name?

Nope! This would be our next project. Any suggestions are welcome!

Any final thoughts?

We are very happy and contented to be expecting our 3rd boy. Having gone through infertility issues with our #1 and our recent miscarriage, we don't take for granted the gift of pregnancy and the ability to stay pregnant. We are grateful to God for choosing to bless us with our 3rd child and look forward to our next adventure come April 2016!

Oh and I came across this article that articulates my thoughts too about having a 3rd boy. Do take a read and have a good laugh.

10 things never to say to a Mom expecting another boy

The story of baby #3 - 19 weeks!

I bet some of you have been wondering if we would go for a #3.

Hub and I always knew that we wanted to have 3 kids.... with an ajar door for a #4 (but please don't go asking me if or when!)

Sam and Gabriel have a 22-months age gap and while I would say that I'm reaping the benefits of a small age gap, now that they are playing so well with each other, I won't mince words and be the first to admit that "chaotic" would be an understatement to describe the first year.

I was changing diapers 24/7! With 2 kids in diapers, there were mornings when I would have to change diapers 4 times before we could get out of the house!

As such, I felt that I wanted to have a bigger age gap between Gabriel and #3, by virtue of the fact that I knew that it would make the first year somewhat more manageable and Gabriel would hopefully be out of diapers by then.

On the months leading up to Gabriel's 2nd birthday, we decided to start trying for another baby and were really surprised when we got pregnant quickly again.

But our joy was short-lived when the pregnancy ended up in miscarriage in the 6th week. I was contemplating about whether or not to share this personal loss because of the usual 12-weeks silence in a pregnancy. Most women are silent not because they don't want to share their joy with the world, but because of the high miscarriage rates in early pregnancy.

However, when I found out that a friend of mine had a miscarriage around the same time too and she was open to share about her experience, I felt that there really was no shame in this experience. On the contrary, I was encouraged to hear about other women's experiences so I felt that I should also share mine.

When I read up about this topic, I found out that most miscarriages happen in a woman's first pregnancy and the chances of a miscarriage falls drastically once a woman has had a successful pregnancy.

So, for the fact that this was my 1st miscarriage despite it being my 3rd pregnancy, I was all the more upset. When a pregnancy ends so early, most of the time it's due to chromosomes error - so I guess it was for the better that the pregnancy ended.

That said, it was still a painful loss for us. The minute one knows that one is expecting, you start making plans and picturing in your mind what your family would look like with another kid. Baby would have shared my birthday month (in December) so this aggravated the feeling of loss and the "if onlys".

I know that baby is safe in God's hands and it comforts me to know that she/he is with my Mom right now and Mom has a grandchild and her own 5th child up there in heaven with her. (Mom had an m/c on her 5th pregnancy).

We decided to just let nature take its course and I'm thankful that I didn't have to go for a D&C, because the m/c was natural and complete.

3 months later, we got pregnant again and this time the pregnancy went past the 1st trimester. Funnily enough, Gabriel was conceived the month after Sam's 1st birthday and baby #3 was conceived the month after Gabriel turned 2.

The past 3 months have been soooo extremely nauseating and exhausting. I only wanted to sleep all day! I've never felt exhaustion like this before! My 2 pregnancies with the boys were a piece of cake compared to this pregnancy.

I was so sick! I couldn't take the smell of anything, really. I developed MSG-allergy and could not order takeout from any Chinese restaurant. I was hungry all the time but couldn't handle looking at, let alone touching raw meat. It was horrid.

And the "best" part of it? I started feeling sick (around 6 weeks), exactly the time when Sam's kindergarten closed for a whole of 3 weeks! That meant that I had both boys with me every.single.day for 3 whole weeks when I was feeling my worst!

I really prayed so hard or should I say, I kept repeating the same one-sentence prayer everyday, "Help me Lord, to get through this day."

I'm usually immune to the kids' shouting / squabbling with each other, but I had such massive headaches everyday that whenever one kid's "talking" went beyond a certain decibel, my headache went into full-blown mode and I could seriously feel my insides throbbing such that my head could burst. I kid you not.

I recall a couple of months ago when I was so eager to wean Sam off his afternoon nap. However, when I was so sick from that all-day sickness, I kept thinking about how thankful I was that Sam refused to drop his naps. I would nap almost everyday with both boys and that nap was truly a life-saver for me.

Oh and have I mentioned how the all-day sickness coincided with the 40-degrees summer heatwave that we had? For the first time in 9 years in Germany, I was sooo thankful and praising God when temperatures plunged in autumn and I could actually sleep better and feel better!

So here you go. My life in a nutshell over the past few months. The silence on this blog was also a direct consequence of my inability to stare at anything that was glaring for more than a couple of minutes.

I'm so thankful that I've finally made it to 19 weeks! *phew*

The 1st-trimester craziness has completely subsided and I'm feeling so normal and fine that I sometimes forget that I'm pregnant. Such a huge difference from the first 12 weeks.

Baby is expected in early April 2016 (spring baby!) and we can't wait to welcome another baby into our home. The boys have been so excited and Sam insists on kissing "baby" ever so often, while Gabriel follows suit because he finds it funny.

While waiting to conceive this baby after my miscarriage, I prayed for a verse to encourage my heart. And the verse I got was "I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence." Ps 16:8

It has been so apt for this pregnancy so far!

Our baby #3 announcement on FB that got so many people confused!