Celebrating the turn of the decade (40!)

Our last beach holiday to Livorno, Italy July 2022

Yup! I've turned the big old 4-0!

My 2nd boy drew this photo and he commented, "Wow Mummy, 40 candles are a LOT!" I acknowledged his statement with a sheepish grin while nodding my head. 

My first boy greeted with a very enthusiastic "Happy birthday Mummy!" Followed by a "Wow, 40 is very old!" I told him, "Well, you are 11 years old right? So how old should I be? I was 29 when you were born."

Gabriel overhead our conversation and went, "No Mum, you were not 29, you were 28. Sam is born in Sept and your birthday is in Dec." 

*mindblown* 

"Yes, you're very sharp Gabriel. It's true. I was still 28 when Sam was born but I turned 29 a few months after." 

Whenever one turns a new decade, one feels like a chapter of the book is over. Oh make that 10 chapters. I remember feeling ancient when I turned 30. I was pregnant with my #2 back then and had a 1-year old to take care of. We had a p-party where everybody had to come dressed in a character beginning with the letter "p". 

This year though, I have turned 40. I spent the most of 2022 in denial that I would turn 40 just before the turn of the new year. I clung onto the "30s" for as long as I could. Say what you'd like,  but when you tell someone you're "30-something", it adds 10 years of youth compared to when you're in your 40s. It doesn't matter that 39 and 40 is only 1 year apart. Even when you fill in survey forms, 40 years old puts you in the next 10 years of being older category. Don't even get me started with how society doesn't seem to accept that women age just as much as men. But while mens' charm continues to grow with their greying hair and wrinkles, women fuel the multi-billion dollar industry of anti-ageing facial products, face lifts, botox injections and pretty much anything that technology and money can buy to turn back time. 

I just coloured the roots of my hair because even my 9-year old was going, "Wow, Mummy your hair is so white!" The hub came to my rescue and explained to my boy, saying "Hey, you can't tell mummy stuff she already knows. She knows she has white hair but you're not allowed to repeat that to her."

40 is pretty much half-life for most people. That's where the term "mid-life crisis" was termed when men hit their 40s right? 

I'm fully aware that life is so transient that none of us knows the number of days that the Lord has ordained for each of us. I've also realised in the last 2 years how a worldwide pandemic can change the facade of many friendships and put family bonds to the test. I know friends my age who have lost their spouses through divorce and demise. Being a Christian does not make one immune to suffering, although we are promised that God will walk through every season with us. 

The past 2 covid years has also put a lot of strain on my family personally. Thus explaining the 2-year dearth of blog entries.  Taking care of my family's well-being physically, mentally and emotionally, while trying to make sure I don't drown in the all the added responsibility of being a good Mom, left me with no energy nor inspiration to write. 

The positive side is that with the added time I had on my hands, I could read my Bible, write in my personal journal and just live my life without the added expectation of blogging about my life. I don't like documenting about hard experiences, so I preferred not to write at all. The negative side is Isabelle only has a yearly-update at 1 year old. She's 4 now. And obviously I can hardly remember what she was like at 2 or 3. 

But I do enjoy writing. It helps me to compartmentalise my life. Think about the good and bad and yet choose to focus on the good. So here's me trying to gently restart a very old and rusty engine. This year, I decided that instead of dwelling on the fact that I am 40 years old young, I'm going to give thanks for all the blessings I continue to enjoy. 

1. I'm strong and healthy at 40

2. I have 4 beautiful healthy children aged 11, 9, 6 and 4. 

3. I have a wonderful husband and blessed marriage of 16 years! 

4. God continues to provide for our family through my husband's job as a tax advisor

5. Knowing how God never gives up on His children. I've experienced answered prayers in my marriage in so many areas I never thought possible. 

6. Even if we pray for the "wrong" thing, God won't "punish" us by answering our prayer "wrongly". He will still answer our prayer according to His perfect will. 

7. Wonderful house with a garden for the past 1.5 years! 

8. Newly-installed solar panels on our roofs to combat the crazy energy and gas prices in Germany

9. Saving 19% on taxes on our solar panels when the installation is complete in Jan 2023. That's about 1,000€! 

10. Wonderful osteopath who has helped me repeatedly with various back and hip issues

11. Totally bias, but I'm sooo happy to have a little girl! After 3 boys, God knew that my heart yearned for a girl as much as I love my 3 boys. And despite my little faith, God rewarded us with a baby girl whom Gabriel prayed so hard for. 

13. My 2 older boys who withstood the peer pressure and mockery when they stood firm and not wore masks. 2 years of mandatory mask-wearing later, the studies have proven that masks were pretty much useless in the pandemic to stop the spread. 

14. Having a lovely little boy who's already waiting for us in heaven. Nothing like losing a loved one to make one so look forward to eternity with Christ where there will be no more suffering, pain and demise. What a joy that will be! 

At Cinque Terre, Italy 

Celebrating my 40th at our favourite Spanish restaurant! 

I shall not talk about how my 2 older boys were kicking each other under the table and got into a fight before the food came *facepalm*