Friday, August 07, 2009
A little light in the woods....
Well after weeks of agonizing and waiting, I finally have the answer as to what is causing the perennial sore throat.
The long and short of it is that I´m allergic to the air in Stuttgart - sort of. Doc´s recommendation for a cure was "umziehen" or "relocate!"
The throat infection is still there. There has been no improvements or deterioation since it started more than a month ago.
However, my throat, vocal chords, everything inside is all healthy and fine.
I´ve had a blood test, mouth swab, throat endoscopy and the only thing that was revealed is that my throat is still infected but there´s really nothing that can be done about it.
Doc. gave me a mouth spray - chemicals, which suppose to help alleviate the pain but it won´t cure it. **bummer**
I must admit that it has been a very tiring and frustrating time for me and the poor hubby too.
Its difficult to be stuck in a situation when first you don´t know what is causing the problem and then after numerous visits to the doctors, they tell you the problem, but there is no solution.
I don´t know what is better.
Well I guess the latter. At least now I know that I´m actually healthy, if only I were living near the ocean - the salt content in the air is missing here.
That explains why I was all healthy within one day in Italy and as soon as I got home, everything came back!
Because Italy is much closer to the coast than Stuttgart is! Stuttgart is pretty much Central Europe, 10 000 over kilometres away from the sea.
Doc said that many people from the South eg. Turkey have this problem. People who are more accustomed to more humid air.
Singapore happens to be an island in the middle of the ocean, with over 80% humidity usually. That does explain it.
I´m starting to have salt baths - boiling salt water and breathing in the steam. Its tedious and oh-so-warm-and-I-Don´t-like-it, but I´d have to try and see if it works.
In addition, we´re going to shop for a humidifier to put in the bedroom too.
When I asked the doctor why didn´t I get this during the other summers, he said that this problem doesn´t necessarily have to come every year.
This year was especially bad because the summer weather changed drastically at the beginning. That´s how the entire infection started. But now, its like my body doesn´t seem to have the antibodies to fight the infection.
That´s why the infection is still there. But when I was in Italy, the salt water content in the air made everything go away!
I really hope that what the doctor said is accurate. Really do.
So that I can look forward to the infection going away when summer is over.
In the meantime, I have been driving myself crazy figuring what to do about my job, for which I enjoy but very much need my voice.
Bounced a couple of crazy-but-impractical ideas around my head and finally decided to talk to my boss about it and just be real and honest.
The talk went very smoothly. She understood where I was coming from and she explained her limitations too.
We decided that I would cut down my contract hours from 20 to 12-15 hrs/ week so that on one hand, I don´t have to work so much and she can hire another teacher to teach the hours that I can´t teach.
And when (if) my sore throat recovers in the following months, I can ask her to increase my hours to 20/week again.
This worked out so much better than I had thought. I could handle 4-5 hrs a day for 3 days a week and then have 4 consecutive rest days for my throat, for which I don´t have to talk much.
And my pay cut would be manageable. With Stephan being self-employed, I enjoy a lower tax-class and would earn the same amount working 25% less, compared to what I earned working 100% at a higher tax class.
Yup! Really happy that my job enables me to be THAT flexible.
And yes, I must admit that I´ve been wrestling with God too. Like, why God? And when God? And honest to boot, I have no answers at all.
I´ve run out of ideas of how to pray for my throat - as if your prayer style affects whether God answers your prayers. But yes, I was that desperate.
I finally told God last night, "God, I have no answers. But I know YOU have all the answers. And for whatever reason I have no answers now, I pray for wisdom that you would help me to make the right decisions that I need to make soon, since my throat ain´t recovering."
Amazingly, that gave me this peace that really helped me to sleep sooo well at night.
So, step by step..... I´m still not cured and throat still hurts but I know that there´s enough light for the step I´m on. Still I´ll continue to trust and hope for a light at the end of the tunnel......