I'm so thankful that my speech in Heartbeat is over. Last night, I was half anxious about it and half excited about moving to Germany to the point that I could not sleep! I was like tossing and turning like crazy in the bed - the feeling was as if I was going to fly off to Germany tomorrow already......
Anyways, reminising of my past 5.5 years in Heartbeat was tough. I came up with some slides and while rehearsing it, I really felt so emotional......Cos this really where I feel my family is - people who have stuck through thick and thin with me. Andrea, Jennifer, Ailing, P. Ian, Cecilia... Every one of them have played such a huge role in my life. Through the long-distance relationship with Stephan, University days, mentoring me, my family crisises.... Still remember the time when I went to Ailing's family during CNY, cos I had a family war and was not allowed to have reunion dinner with my family..... Cecilia coming over to my house at 11pm, cos I was so angry that P. Ian told Stephan not to stay over at my place...... P.Ian welcoming Stephan with open arms and teaching him all the different cultures btw Singaporean and western culture.....Andrea, Jennifer all the times of celebrating birthdays, hanging out, talking, praying, struggling with God...... Not to mention my lovely youth cell whom I've had the privilege of being able to share their lives. I really love being their cell leader and just learning and growing with them...... Ahhhh!!
After church, I went home to sleep and when I woke up...I felt a sense of immense sadness and loneliness...... It really is beginning to hit me at different stages that I am leaving! And its like I fear that the friendships I will have to start making in Germany is going to take SO MUCH time and effort to build and everything....... it's a bit King Nebu's dream - gold then silver then bronze.... like my friendships in Singapore is gold, then germany is silver.....hahah..... No lah, of course I know that God will not shortchange me, but its really about having to step out in faith also......
Just have to remember what Duane shared in class, having faith does not mean you do not have fear....You have fear that is why you need to step out in faith...But once you step out faith, that is when you would fear again so you will need to keep trusting God and have faith again...... Yes God, I choose to step out in faith and even though I might be fearful, I pray that I will turn my eyes onto you and allow you to help me to thread the waters of life......
Oh, I ended up cooking dinner and I LOVE COOKING! Yum Yum! Had broccoli, carrots, mushroom and scallops for dinner.....
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